The Year in Popular Culture Part Two (and it's only a month late)

After presenting the first part of this list I had to ask my roommate (Placenta Juan the afterbirth tycoon) why he seemed to feel the need to dismiss everthing I put on said list. His reply was, "As you are no doubt aware I have only two interests of any kind: H.P. Lovecraft and porn. Your list encompasses neither. If however, some enterprising producer of taste and vision were to make a film called "Cuddly Bitches Crazy for Cthulhu Cock" and it were to somehow find its way on your best of 2007 list, then you and I would be in concert."

5. Gone Baby Gone (Film)
Dismiss it at your own peril but Ben Affleck's directorial debut is a far more assured and convincing adaptation of a Dennis Lehane book than Clint Eastwood's overrated "Mystic River".

Placenta Juan the afterbirth tycoon says:
I'm sorry, I'm nursing a Xanax and Thunderbird hangover so I'm a little fuzzy right now; did you say Ben Affleck directed a film? Finally I know the answer to the question that has plagued me for years: I wonder what it feels like right before MY FUCKING HEAD EXPLODES!

4. Battles "Mirrored" (Album)
Their influences are numerous but this band sounds like nothing else out there.

Placental Juan the afterbirth tycoon says:
Look, kids, it appears no one else is going to to tell you this so it falls upon my shoulders to do so: just because a band features an ex-member of Don Caballero and another fellow who's involved with one of Mike Patton's shittier side projects does not mean you have to pretend to like them. Do you honestly think you can convince me "Atlas" is a good song? It sounds like Alvin and the Chipmunks did a bunch of blow and suddenly discovered prog rock. I realize I'm making this sound far more awesome than it actually is.

3. If I Did It by O.J. Simpson (credited to the Goldmans) (Book)
Here me out on this one. I'm not implying the book is anything but conceptually deplorable or horribly written (I haven't read it). What I love about this is the temerity of the author. I mean, he killed a woman, got away with it, and then wrote a book about how he would have "hypothetically" done the crime he supposedly didn't commit. Simpson believes the rules simply don't apply to him. He's like George Bush with a Heisman trophy.

Placenta Juan the afterbirth tycoon says:
I don't really understand where all this righteous indignation is coming from. It's not as if the Juice's literary mea culpa is unprecedented. (For further examples see "Beyond the Valley of Slapfights and Showtunes" by Leopold and Loeb; and Heinrich Himmler's "Jews: Who Needs 'Em?")

2. LCD Soundsystem "Sound of Silver" (Album)
An album so good it inspired John Cale to cover one of its songs (the sublime "All of My Friends").

Placenta Juan the afterbirth tycoon says:
Can someone inform me as to why some overweight, New York hipster asshole's reinvention of himself as Donna Summer without the sex appeal is worthy of anything other than incredulous laughter? Anyone? Hello? (Sound of crickets chirping.)

1. No Country For Old Men (Film)
The Coen Brothers have made great films before but this is what they will be cannonized for. Javier Bardem is the most memorable antagonist since John Huston in "Chinatown".

Placenta Juan the afterbirth tycoon says:
Let me ask you another question: what have the Coens done with this film that is so exceptional? Did they finally make a motion picture where you don't get the sense that the filmmakers have nothing but contempt for their characters? No. Have they created some sort of paradigm shift in the crime genre. No, for the most part, this is just like every other film where somebody finds a bunch of money and is pursued by somebody willing to kill for it. Did the Coens manage to elicit a performance from Tommy Lee Jones wherein he doesn't come across as the world's least charming child molester. Absolutely not.


Placenta Juan the afterbirth tycoon wishes to add:
Deacon, I had to put with quite a bit of pretentious, willfully unpleasant, atonal crap to help you with your so-called "Best of 2007" list. And that is why I believe, in the words of Henry Clay - addressing Andrew Jackson - "It is not blood which circulates through your veins sir, but rather the devil's semen." (Editor's Note: I doubt Henry Clay ever said this.) (Author's response to editor's note: I'm rather certain he did. Just ask Gore Vidal.)